HOW TO MAKE YOUR WRITING FUNNY (EVEN IF YOU'RE AS FUNNY AS A BROKEN TOASTER)

So, you wanna be funny. Not ha-ha “Dad joke” funny. But actually, “someone snorted their drink out their nose” funny. The good kind. The chaotic kind. The kind that gets your weird little blog post screenshotted and sent in the group chat with “THIS IS SO YOU 😭.”

Here’s how to punch up your writing—Shit For Friends style—even if your jokes usually die slower than your will to socialize.

1. STOP BEING VAGUE. SAY THE DAMN THING.

Don't say:

“I had a weird day.”

Say:

“I accidentally hugged my Uber driver thinking he was my cousin, tripped over a parking cone, and now my ankle sounds like a bag of Rice Krispies.”

Get specific. The weirder, the better. Funny lives in the details. If you just say “weird,” you sound like a gluten-free cracker. Bland as hell. Be the cracker that’s dangerously cheesy and leaves dust on everyone’s fingers.

2. USE METAPHORS THAT’D MAKE YOUR ENGLISH TEACHER CRY

Normal people say:

“I was scared.”

Shit For Friends writers say:

“I was sweating like a priest in a strip club.”

Dumb analogies are our love language. Compare things that have NO business being compared. The more chaotic, the better. Just don’t get arrested.

3. SOUND EFFECTS AREN’T JUST FOR COMICS—USE ‘EM

Don't say:

“The duck toy broke.”

Say:

“The duck exploded in my hands with a sad quack and a puff of regret.”

Words that sound like what they are (you know, onomatopoeia, but we’re not nerds so we won’t say that again) add flavor. Like sriracha for your sentences. Just don't overdo it or you’ll sound like a 5th grader narrating a Beyblade fight.

4. QUICK CUTS = CHAOS = COMEDY

“I’m never texting him again.”
Cut to: You sending a ‘u up?’ at 2:36am.

This is the comedy equivalent of turning around dramatically in a swivel chair. Use it to yank readers from one reality into a new one so fast they get emotional whiplash. Makes them laugh. Makes them confused. Makes them love you. Win-win.

5. CALLBACKS. BRING THE SHIT BACK. ALWAYS.

Mention a thing early, then circle back to it later for a punchline that hits like a sock full of nickels.

First line: “My cat has seen things.”
Later: “She stared into the void. The same way Mittens did after witnessing me try to twerk at my ex’s birthday.”

Think of it as planting a dumb little comedy seed that you water with your own shame later. Beautiful.

FINAL WORDS (LIKE A TOAST, BUT DUMBER)

You don’t need to be a stand-up comic. You just need to write like your group chat’s watching. Be bold. Be weird. Say “shit” at least once (studies show it increases engagement by 9000%). And above all:

👉 Never write like you’re trying to impress LinkedIn. That’s how you lose the funny.

Now go. Write something funny. Or dumb. Or both.

Just don’t be boring. We’re allergic to boring.

Wanna write shit that makes people laugh so hard they send you free screenshots of their group chat reactions? You’re in the right damn place.

Need a weird product to match your weird writing?
Go buy some dumb shit here.