Step 1: See some weird shit you like.
Step 2: Click “Add to Cart” like your life depends on it.
Step 3: Slam that checkout button and throw your card details at us (digitally, don’t be weird).
Step 4: Sit back, relax, and wait for your package of nonsense to arrive.
It's that easy. Even your ex could do it. Probably.

Take a deep breath, champ. If you hit us up within 1-2 hours, there’s a good chance we can stop the madness before your package of chaos gets shipped.

But if your order already left the nest like a rebellious teenager, then you’ll have to wait for it, send that shit back, and let us know it’s on the way.

Once we receive the returned nonsense, our elite team of Shit Inspectors™ will sniff it, poke it, maybe pet it-and if everything looks untouched and drama-free, we’ll refund you AND toss in a sweet discount code for next time.

Not because we care. But because we respect your hustle.

With love, chaos, and a sprinkle of dumb luck.

We slap your shit into a box (or bag, or whatever we find lying around), give it a pep talk, and hand it over to our delivery overlords (usually USPS or some other crew with questionable tracking accuracy).

Then it goes on a cross-country road trip it didn’t ask for, possibly stopping at three random states for no reason.

• Will it get to you? Yes.
• Will it make sense how it got there? Hell no.
• Will it be glorious? Also yes.

So sit tight, refresh the tracking link 47 times, and let destiny (and USPS) do their thing.

There is a delivery option. Singular. One. Uno. The Holy Option.

You pick your shit, we yeet it across the globe. That’s it. No fancy express, no VIP llama delivery. Just good ol’ standard mystery shipping.

• Will it be fast? Maybe.
• Will it arrive? Probably.
• Will it change your life? Absolutely not.

But hey, it’ll get there. Somehow. Someday. Like karma, but in a box.

Ah yes, the age-old mystery… “Where the hell is my glorious package of questionable taste?”

Fear not, brave shopper of chaos - we gave you a tracking number for a reason (not just to look pretty in your inbox).

👉 Just head over here: shitforfriends.com/a/tracking

Drop in your digits, and behold! You’ll witness your package crawling its way to you like a drunk snail with a mission.

If it looks like it hasn’t moved in days, don’t panic. It’s probably just on a highly unnecessary scenic route. Or meditating in customs. Either way, it’s living its best life.

We accept anything that doesn’t involve livestock or pirate treasure. Swipe it, tap it, whisper sweet nothings to it-if it works, we’ll take your money.

Credit cards? Yup. Digital wallets? Sure. Your grandma’s antique coins? Please don’t.

Just don’t try slipping Monopoly money into the screen or mailing us a goat as payment. We already have one. His name is Greg. He looks strange. Anyway...

Absolutely. Just box it up, send it back, and pretend this never happened-like that haircut you got in 2011.

But listen closely, champ: if it’s used, abused, stained, mangled, sniffed, or emotionally traumatized-we don’t want your sad little gremlin of a return. We're not a lost and found for your impulsive shopping regrets.

Return window’s open, but we ain’t your therapist. Just keep the tag on and the dignity intact, and our emotionally unstable return manager might approve it without crying into his soup.

Ohhh, you wanna return something? That’s adorable.

Here’s the ancient ritual:

Email us at shitforfriends@gmail.com within 7 days of receiving your shit.

Include your order number, proof of purchase, and a sad little explanation for why you're sending your weird junk back.

Wait while our team of emotionally exhausted Return Wizards™ decides if your case is worthy.

If approved, we’ll send you return instructions and maybe a small existential crisis.

⚠️ Must be unused, unworn, unwashed, and untouched by human shame.

Pro tip: The process is annoying. Like, really annoying. So unless something is actually broken or cursed, maybe... just keep it?

SFF

SFF

SFF

You enter it at checkout, champ.

There’ll be a little box for discount / promo / voucher codes. Paste your code there, hit apply, and watch the price drop like we’re pretending to be generous.

We honestly thought this was common knowledge, but apparently you and some guy named Kevin in 2011 needed a full tutorial.

That’s fine.

We grow through pain.

Nope.

We are annoying, but professionally.

You’ll get the occasional discount, update, or weird product we think your broken little humor might appreciate. If that’s too much, unsubscribe. Dramatic, but legal.

Beautiful animal. Horrible timing. Need anything else?