STUPID SHIT THAT’S ACTUALLY IN THE GUINNESS BOOK - 10 WORLD RECORDS NO ONE ASKED FOR

At Shit For Friends, we love weird. And nothing screams “what the actual hell” like the Guinness World Records. Forget talent, forget purpose—these legends just wanted to be the best at absolute nonsense. So, here’s our list of the top 10 records that made us scream “WHO ASKED FOR THIS?”

1. Cycling Backwards While Playing the Violin

Because apparently doing one stupid thing at a time isn’t enough. One guy decided to ride a bike backwards and play the violin. Did we need it? No. Did he do it anyway? Absolutely. Beethoven is rolling in his grave—backwards.

2. Most Snails on a Face

Some 11-year-old hero once let 43 live snails crawl all over his face… on purpose. And no, he wasn’t dared. He wanted this. Slimy, slow, facial chaos. Imagine explaining that to your future therapist.

3. Most Eggs Cracked With a Head in 60 Seconds

You ever get so bored you start headbutting your groceries? One guy cracked 80 eggs with his skull in a minute. Protein shake? Nah. Full-concussion omelette.

4. Largest Ear Hair

Someone proudly grew 13cm of ear hair. Not a beard. Not a glorious mane. Ear. Hair. We salute him… from afar. With scissors. And holy water.

5. Most Airline Sick Bags Collected

Over 6,000 airline puke bags. Not used (we think), but collected. That’s right. Someone saw a barf bag and thought, “Gotta catch ‘em all.” Vomit Pokémon vibes.

6. Most People Brushing Their Teeth at Once

More than 10,000 people brushing their teeth at the same time. Somewhere, a dentist just exploded from joy. Somewhere else, someone dropped their toothbrush in the crowd and just kept going. No thoughts. Just mint.

7. Most Marriages

A woman got married 23 times. That’s not a love life—that’s a full-time job. She’s got more rings than Sonic the Hedgehog. Someone give her a loyalty card.

8. Highest Jump by a Guinea Pig

A tiny guinea pig named Puckel Martin jumped 20cm, which is apparently a record. That’s basically the guinea pig NBA. MVP. Most Valuable Potato.

9. Hardest Kick to the Groin

Yes, someone took the most painful nut-kick ever recorded. We don't know how they measured it. We don’t want to know. Just send thoughts, prayers, and a frozen bag of peas.

10. Largest Gathering of Smurfs

Thousands of people painted themselves blue and gathered together. Not for peace. Not for protest. For Smurfs. Thousands of sweaty blue humans screaming “SMURF POWER.” We live on a strange planet.

Final Thought

Next time you think you're wasting time—just remember: someone out there became famous for having the world’s longest ear hair or collecting vomit bags. You’re doing great, sweetie. Keep scrolling, keep laughing, and if you're ever in doubt, ask yourself:

“Would this land me a Guinness record… or just get me kicked out of Walmart?”

Stay stupid,
– Your Friends at Shit For Friends 💩